How do you love ?

Your way of loving others is beneficial to you only if it doesn't cause any unpleasant emotions. When you feel angry, impatient, resentful, sad, or rejected, it may be a sign that your way of loving needs improvement. That is, if you want to have healthy relationships.

To love is to accept the wishes, opinions, and behaviour of others, even if you don't understand their behaviour and don't agree with it. Loving is still the best way to be happy, which we all want. We all have to learn to love despite the many difficult situations we go through such as violence, jealousy, indifference, rejection, poverty, etc. It's hard for some of us to accept difficult situations because we fear that accepting the situation means it won't change and we will have to live with it forever. Try accepting it and you'll see it's the opposite.

True love is acceptance, and acceptance has the power to heal at a physical level and beyond. It leads to the transformation of the situation that's disturbing you. This can occur in several unexpected ways, but remember that we all have our limits and it's important to take them into account and respect them.

By the same token, it's impossible for you to feel loved by others if you can't love yourself. If you feel judged or criticized by others, it's because inside, you judge and criticize yourself. When was the last time you said to yourself I love myself and really felt it inside?

When you accept yourself and give yourself the right to be who you are, even with certain behaviours that you don't like, and when you have in mind what you want to become, you will gradually start to love yourself more.

Lastly, I suggest that you make a list of all your best qualities; read it each week and add some more. This will help you believe that you really are a marvellous person.

Lise Bourbeau